fantabous.

Just as litterally everything is going handy-dandy fine.
BAM.
right fucking again.
it hits your.
And you just don't know how to handle the situation.
You can't go to anyone.
Because the only people you want to talk to about this won't care.
There is the select one[s] that do.
But....you just don't know anymore.
You can't handle yourself.
You've been crying all day.
You can't take it anymore.


And now I know I will have the WORST summer of my life.
Thank you.

okay, whoops

Yeah, sorry it's been so long since I've written anything. I've been kind of caught up with stuff. I just got back from OTC for key club. It was fun (: My birthday was BORING. Did nothing:/ Fun, huh? So nothing exciting has happened, really. Boring stuff, really boring stuff. It's kind of amazing to me that litterally NOTHING is happening. Usually I have some personal problems to deal with on my own or whatnot. But NOTHING. I guess it's because I just don't fucking care anymore.

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Currently Listening to: "Newport Living" by Cute Is What We Aim For

Oh dang.

Okay, today, I have a day of rest.
Tomorrow, I have to wake up hecka early to help set up my cousin's wedding. And then wedding. And then concert? The Racontuers.
Sunday, Chelsea's house wiff Brandie and Brenda! We are making a sick ass house(:
Monday is my birthday(:
YAYYY

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Currently listening to: "Pop" by N'SYNC

happyhappyjoyjoy

First off. I fould my camera. I felt like a dumbass when I found it because it was in my Cobra Starship jacket pocket.

And second it was Jelli's birthday. So I went to her party (: It was funnn! We went swiming and we pigged out. And we...uh....danced. Well some people did. lmfao (:

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Currently Listening to: "Jersey" by Mayday Parade

UGH

I hate my life right now.
Everything was going good. I swear it was. I don't think I've ever been that happy in the past 2 years. Then, everythings comes crashing down. Of course it does. Of course it does when I was at my happiest. Of course it does right before my birthday. Of course. When is there a better time to?
Okay, I am seriously a thread close between giving up on this boy. But I can't seem to. I don't know why. That's what usually happens with my crushes. When I realize it's going nowhere...I move on. But somehow I can't seem to move on. But I honestly should. If you knew my situation...you would move on too. But I can't....and it bugs me everyday.
Then I think I lost my camera. I'm pretty sure it's in my bed...that's the last place I remember it being. But it could posibally be in my mom's car. But it's tottally adding stress to me..and I can barely take it.
Now, to the friend problems. Actually I rather not talk about it...so whatever.
Then there's some family problems. Which I can't really talk about.
And oh my so much more...that I can't talk about.
All before my birthday!
Oh, speaking of my birthday....another party I'm NOT having. Another cake I'm NOT having. Another somewhat celebration I'm NOT having. Another present from my family I'm NOT getting.
Don't you think I'm having the most amazing birthday in the world?

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Currently Listening to: "The New" by Interpol

We spies. We slow hands

Prom Night was killer. Brandie and I were like tottally freaking out, screaming at the top of our lungs (well, she was) haha. It was fun. Then it was over. Then it was 10. Curfew. I hate that we have curfews in Vegas. kflsjdfkls; Curfews suck.

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Currently listening to: "Me, You, and My Medication" by Boys Likes Girls

Weekend!

Friday: I sneaked out of the house to see a movie with Kristin and Pete. Kristin wanted me to go. Then later I went with BDAN to see if we can go to the Bamboozle Roadshow thing at the Joint. Well, we got there to late. So it didn't work out too well. Whatev. Hahaha. So we ate (:

Saturday & Sunday: Did absolutely nothing besides eat, text, and go on the computer.

Life is not that exciting.

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Currrently Listening to: "Halo" by Depeche Mode

You know what I mean.

Ever got that feeling that you felt like you wern't good enough? Like you had to prove yourself good enough? I used to have that feeling litterally everyday. But I haven't had it in a while until lately. It's quite bugging me.....because I don't want to go through what I did when I used to have that feeling. I seriously thought I was over it.

Anyway. I went to the My Chemical Romance w/ Billy Talent and Drive By concert on Monday. It was okay. MCR did a lot of older stuff, which was cool. It was way better than the last time I saw them. They didn't do any theatracle(sp?) shit like last time. It was like tottally "Revenge". It was also Alec C. from Powerspace birthday that day! Happy late B-Day Alec (:

So, for some reason the time is passing by at a normal rate. Quite odd, if you ask me.
But, wait......
........who is asking?

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Currently Listening to: "She's a Handsome Woman" by Panic At The Disco
You have no idea how many times I've been tempted to add the "!" to Panic At the Disco.
R.I.P. "!"

Extreme Thing

Ohhhh, was that so much fun! Escape The Fate and Chiodos was amazinnnggg. So was Scary Kids Scaring Kids. I missed Sky Eats Airplane. I was kinda pissed. But I had fun. I chilled out with Kristin the whole time. I got sunburnt, bruised all over my leg. And to make matters worst, I pulled a muscle on my leg. I like seriously can't walk! Anyway, long day......and my bed is looking wayy more comfortable that it is.....



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Currently Listening To: "Brighter" by Paramore

Life sucks

Especially when you forget something, BAM it seems to find you and hit you in the fucking face hard. Godammit.

Extreme thing tomorrow. I'm going, I think. Pretty sure, at least. That day is going to be very interesting. Very, very interesting. And I'm not just talking about all the bands and the fun stuff happening.

Kill me now.

I don't care how you do it. Shot me. Stab me. Just do it quickly before I do it myself.

Today started out so fucking good. It wasn't even funny how good it was. Then I get home. Then I get on the computer. Then all hell breaks lose. Then I die.

jfksdafjksdhfsdkfjdskfjkdsfjkd;
FUCKKKING AYE.

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Currently Listening to: "Crimson" by Alkaline Trio

We're So Starving

So today was a blah day. As in everything was a little like this, "BLAH BLAH BLAH". Yeah, nothing exciting happened. Sadly. I'm listening to Panic At The Disco's new cd, Pretty. Odd. More like Pretty. Amazing. I love it. I don't see why fans are complaning. I reminds me of an upbeat Interpol. ahaha. So I like my outfit today. It was a boho type thing. And I pulled it off. I know floral was like soooooo 2 months ago. But do I care? Not really.
Notice how I have nothing to talk about?

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Currently Listening to: "She's A Handsome Woman" by Panic At The Disco

Wow.

Okay, so today is boring. Doing homework. Not much fun to that. So yesterday I went with Kristin to see Shutter. It was good. Good enough to make me scream...and jump......a lot. Haha. But then Pete called Kristin. He wanted to meet her up. So we did. And he brought a friend. And whoop-di-doo....we went to see Shutter....again. Hahaha. Since we got there late, we had to sit in the very front row. Lemme tell you something, that wasn't fun. My neck hurt like the wholeee freakking time! haha. And it made me dizzy.

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Currently Listening to: "Shake it" by Metro Station
shake shake shake shake shake it

IT doesn't feel right.

Okay, so I learned that sometimes talking to friends about issues doesn't help for me. I don't know whether it's because I never really talked to friends about issues before...and it just didn't feel right or it's something else. But it doesn't really help. When I'm by myself...I can work things out easier.

Oh, so yesterday I saw Funny Games with Caitlin and my Uncle. It was funny in a psychotic kind of way. See it if you want.

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Currently Listening to: "crushcrushcrush" by Paramore

Busy, much?

So I'm sitting here at my computer, texting four people, and talking on the phone....all at once. And let me tell you something. It is hard. Trust me on that.

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Currently Listening To: "Right On, Right Now" by Powerspace

New Blog. New Outlook.

I guess. But it's pretty much true.
Okay, so the only reason I made a new blog because I tottally forgot what my password was. Haha. And that blog was filled with only thoughts. Thoughts I really didn't want to get out. Not yet anyways. So I'm starting this over.
So Spring Break has begun. I've been really busy in the past week so far. Monday and Tuesday of course, I had a Key Club meeting. Wednesday, Brandie and Brenda came over after school and we went to this Carnival of Cultures thing. It was okay, but we made the best of it. I also had an orthodontist appointment that day and I found out I get my braces off in a couple months. WHOOP WHOOP. Thursday I went to Tara's house and we went to a DCM meeting at Clark. Fun. Friday I went with Courtney and her sister, Natalie to a concert at Fade. We mainly went there to see Hooker. It was pretty cool. Yesterday, Saturday, I went to my aunt's house because she was having one of those Mary Kay party things. I got a facial and bought some new make-up. Later we went to Town Square and shopped at H&M. So now I am here with Linds and BDAN. We just helped BDAN make a myspace(: So they are upstairs catching up on The Whitest Kids U'Know episodes they missed. They missed some super crazy sexy episodes. Haha.
Okay, even though I didn't really want this blog to be about thoughts and feelings like my last one, I realized I can't help it. It just won't be as much as the last one. Because right now there's a couple things on my mind I need to vent. 1st off, Desiree had a birthday party yesterday. I know what your thinking, "Oh, so she's going to tell us how it was" Haha, not. Why? Because I didn't go. Why? Because she didn't invite me. Oh, you might think I'm pissed, right? Haha, not. If you read my posts on my old blog, you'd know why. Okay, so I'm not venting about that. I'm venting about who she invited. She invited Erin, Kelly, Cameo and Christiana. Okay. I can understand Erin and Kelly. But Cameo and Christiana? Haha, I burst out laughing when I found out. All she does is talk about how they "fucking annoy" her. Did she not have enough friends to invite? Haha, probably. Oh, and revenge is sweet. I hope she knows that. Okay, next ventage, it's about him. Okay, I honestly feel like it's going absolutely no where between us. And I'm starting to not believe it's going to happen. And I'm starting to overthink it. But every single time I do this, things don't work out. And I hate that. I vowed to myself that I won't do this....but I don't know. I can't lose hope now. It's too early. If you want it, you have to fight for it. But the thing is, I have no clue about him. Except his musical tastes, he's in a band, and he goes to concerts. Wooo. It's everything I want in a boy. But how am I supposed to get it? When I don't know if he has a girlfriend, I don't know his myspace, I don't know anything.
In the meantime, I'm just living life. Taking it in day-by-day. I don't care about what's happening or what's going to happen in the future. I don't care about other people's lifes except for the ones close to me or who care back. But, I don't ask for anyone to care back.....really I don't.

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Currently Listening to: "R-Evolve" by 30 Seconds To Mars